Tips for Dating and Relationships Part 1

This week, I learned about the benefits of dating, as well as the harm that comes from current stigmas. I found it interesting and wanted to talk shortly about it. I will talk about what a date should and shouldn't be when you're first starting out. Then I will touch on the matter of cohabiting.

People today often prefer to hang out, rather than committing to going on a date. People might believe that a date needs to be elaborate and expensive, which is scary and difficult, leading to fewer dates. People also think that such a date might suggest that there is some commitment involved, and dates, especially first dates, shouldn't signify lasting commitment. Casual, cheap dates allow for more dates to happen, with little fear of continuing commitment, and helps people get to know other people of the opposite gender. As Elder Oaks put it, a date must follow the three p's: planned ahead, paid for, and paired off. I think this is a really good description. A date isn't something that should be thrown together. It should be deliberate. If you are planning on eventual marriage, you have to get out there and date. It won't just happen. If someone asks you on a date, don't turn them down just because of the short interaction you had with them (unless they are making you uncomfortable or you feel like you are in danger).

Now I will talk about cohabiting. Research has shown that there are 4 main reasons that people cohabit. The largest group is those that are planning to cohabit, and than marry. There are people who aren't sure about the relationship they are in, but they don't want to be alone. There are those that are wanting to marry at some point, but not necessarily to the person that they are cohabiting with currently. And there are those that are simply cohabiting as an alternative to marriage. I will focus on the first group - those that are cohabiting to practice for their eventual marriage. Studies have shown that those who cohabit before they get married are more likely to have lower satisfaction in marriage and they have higher divorce rates than those who don't. Science does not yet know why there are not as many benefits as expected for cohabiting.